WHEN YOU'RE HERE, BE
HERE
"If you're always racing to the next moment, what happens to the one you're in?" -- Unknown
Many of us have probably
had this experience: You're talking to someone during a reception, at a
party, or after a meeting. As you watch their eyes and body language, it
becomes obvious they're looking past you and scanning the crowd for someone
else they'd rather be talking to.
From that moment
forward, what worth does your conversation with them have for you? Most
likely very little. You know their priorities aren't with you. You
feel devalued, minimized, maybe even a bit insulted.
Here's another situation
for you to picture: You're playing with your child or grandchild, or
listening to your spouse, or chatting with a co-worker, but you're mostly
thinking about how soon the big game will start, or how much you still have on
your to-do list that day, or who that text is from that just pinged into your
cell phone.
As they watch your eyes
and body language, it becomes obvious to them that you'd rather be somewhere
else or be doing something else. From that moment forward, what value
does your time with your child, your grandchild, your spouse, or your co-worker
actually have for them? Is it possible they might feel devalued,
minimized, even a bit insulted? When we're with another person and we are
not present with them in that moment, it can cost us dearly in the quality of
our relationships.
The heavy toll of trying
to be in too many places at once isn't limited to interpersonal
interactions. Even when we're not with another person, the cost of not
being in the moment may be substantial. That's because not being
present robs us twice.
1. Not being here when we're here
means there's no way we can find joy or satisfaction or fulfillment in the
present because we're not even there. We're somewhere in the past or the
future, either reliving bygone moments or imagining future days. The
present, with all its possibilities, is lost to us.
2. In addition, we can't do justice
to the past or the future or the present when we try to straddle now and
then. We're like the English soldier who "jumped on his horse
and rode off in all directions." The result of our multitasking is
that everything
gets short shrift. When we try to do too many things at once we are
ineffective and inefficient in all we do.
Every part of our lives
has an important role to play. As Thomas S. Monson said, "The past
is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is
here, live it." But the key is to focus on one piece at a
time.
Reflecting on our past
is valuable, especially as we glean important lessons from our triumphs and
tragedies. Planning for the future is critical to our ongoing
success. Set aside time for both; just don't do either when the here and
now needs your attention.
We do ourselves and
those around us a huge disservice when we rush off to somewhere else when we
should be here. We fool ourselves when we think we can keep too many
plates spinning at the same time. We sacrifice a brilliant future and
sully a golden past when we fail to live in the present. When you're
here, be here!
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