THE NATURAL LOOK
"It's nice to
just embrace the natural beauty within you." Victoria Justice
I have a middle-aged friend who is struggling with the fact that
over the course of several weeks of corona virus lockdown, her "true
colors" are showing up and taking over. The truth is that since her late
teenage years, she's been turning silver, but she's covered it up with
twice-monthly visits to the beauty parlor.
Now that she's already got several inches of gray coming through,
she's decided to come to terms with her real age and wear her "grown-up
hair." But she doesn't want to go around for weeks with two-toned hair as
her natural color grows out. Fortunately, her hairdresser is helping her manage
the transition with some excellent interim coloration.
She does worry, however, that as a "newly-older" person,
some opportunities will no longer be open to her. But she feels that being more
authentic about who she really is has become increasingly important. And she
knows that those who truly love her won't stop loving her because of the color
of her hair.
* * * * *
Here's a fun and light-hearted look at this issue, the terrible
quandary that's confronting many of us as we emerge from long weeks of
isolation. (My apologies to Cyndi Lauper.)
* * * * *
Carly, the woman who cuts my hair, is in her early 40s and has
striking silver hair. Since she works in a full-service salon, I long assumed
that she colored it. One day I asked her who did her hair.
"No one," she answered. "I went completely gray
very early and this has been my natural color since my teens and 20s. For a
very long time I dyed it because I thought I was way too young to have gray
hair. It was a pain trying to control my roots, but I gave in to vanity for
years and years, trying to aspire to what I imagined others' definition of
beauty was.
"But one day, I just said 'enough' and let it go gray. It
took many weeks of having two-toned hair, then short hair after I chopped off
the previously dyed part, but it finally got there. Since then I've come to
love the real me. And it sure has eliminated a lot of extra work in my
life."
Now, many who see her eye-catching hair believe it is one of her
finest features. But she says that the internal transformation that took place
for her when she decided to be true to her authentic self was far more
significant than her change in hair color. To me, the resulting glow and confidence
in her eyes and her countenance are at least as stunning as her hair.
* * * * *
So why are so many of us so critical of our natural look? Why do
we run away or try to hide from our real selves? Is it vanity? Are we concerned
about being judged for what we or others might consider physical blemishes?
Looking different can affect our self-esteem. Is it fear of ageism? Without a
doubt there is serious discrimination against older people, especially in the
job market.
But hopefully, all this extra time we've had for self-reflection
during the coronavirus shutdown has helped us recognize that who we really
are, both inside and out, is enough. No doubt the transition can be difficult,
but being ourselves is what really counts.
Critics will still be critics, but we ourselves should not be
among that number. Those whose opinions truly matter will love us anyway. They
will admire us not for the quality of our dye job (once we finally get back to
our stylist) but for our courage, our authenticity, and our power to focus on
matters more significant than external appearances.
I say, be yourself, knowing that the real you is more than enough.
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