FINDING TIME FOR QUIET
TIME
"The tree of
silence bears the fruit of peace." Arabian Proverb
In my last two Wednesday Wisdom articles, I've described
how turning down the noise and immersing ourselves in silence is wonderfully
beneficial for the spirit, the soul, the body, and the brain. The question
remains: How can we
successfully develop a practice of purposeful quiet in today's loud and hectic
world?
For many, this requires overcoming a fear of silence.
Unfortunately, lots of folks find quiet time to be rather unsettling. A study
of 580 undergraduate students undertaken over six years, reported by Bruce Fell
on The Conversation, shows that the constant accessibility and exposure
to background media has created a mass of people who fear silence.
This study, along with research by Drs. Michael Bittman of the
University of New England and Mark Sipthorp of the Australian Institute of
Family Studies argues that
"their need for noise and their struggle with silence is a
learnt behavior. This cannot be blamed on the relatively recent rise of social
media and 24-hour availability. For many of these students' lives, the TV was
always on, even when no one was watching. That often was the case throughout
their parents' childhoods as well. If background noise has always been with us,
it's no wonder we can become so uncomfortable when it's taken away."
For those who are unsettled by solitude, let me suggest two first
steps to help get past that mental roadblock. First, find your own personal reasons to seek solitude.
Identify improving your health, increasing your feelings of gratitude,
enhancing your sense of connection with the divine, having a deeper sense of
tranquility, or any other positive outcome to experience from regular personal
quiet time. Picture the benefits of having more of that in your life.
Second, try quiet in tiny doses. Change your patterns in small and simple ways.
Start with very short periods of quiet. For example, turn off the TV when
washing the dishes. Drive without the radio on for a few minutes. Walk the dog
without the iPod or phone. Bit by bit, as you begin to embrace silence, it will
feel more comfortable.
Keeping silence each day may come easier to some than others, and
our situations certainly have an effect on this. A single person who lives
alone may have more silence than they want. It is up to each one to embrace
periods of that silence instead of filling every moment with music and shows. A
mother of several young children, on the other hand, may feel that aside from
the precious few hours when she sleeps, silence could only ever be realized in
a pleasant dream.
We can find silence when we hit 'pause' in our daily busy-ness,
and let go of the need to be productive or entertained every single minute.
This silence gives us peace that stays with us when we go back to work. While
external noise is the more obvious culprit, if you've ever had an annoying pop
song stuck in your head, or replayed an argument over and over in your mind,
then you know all about internal noise as well. We need a break from both.
No matter our situations, each of us can find some small period of
time each day to be intentionally silent. It could be for 5 minutes or an hour,
whatever we are able to keep. We can schedule it, or just grab it when it comes
our way. Finding time to escape alone and experience solitude and silence might
feel impossible in this busy world, but it can be done if we're intentional.
Here are some ideas to consider:
Go for a walk, a run, or a bike ride. If possible, travel through the woods or the
desert, or near a river or the ocean. There is nothing like the silence of
nature to still your soul. Look for a quiet place away from others to sit alone
for a while and ponder.
Don't always look for entertainment. When you find those "in between"
moments, don't immediately reach for your phone. Take advantage of the time
waiting in line or at the bus stop, and be silent. Resist the urge to fill each
moment. Sometimes our guardian angel sends us moments of silence, and we just
need to notice and accept them.
Drive in silence. Unlike my friend Blair who bought a truck without a radio, mine
comes equipped with music. But I can choose intentionally if I want silence or
music. My morning commute is one of my favorite quiet times. That's when I
prepare mentally and spiritually for the day. In the afternoons, when I often
listen to music, I try to let it improve the quality of my drive time instead
of just acting as background noise. And instead of endlessly switching stations
when I can't find anything good, I just turn it off and enjoy the silence.
Wake up an hour earlier or stay up an hour later than the other
members of your house. If
you live in a full house or have kids who depend on you each day it's hard to
get away. Look for times when others are sleeping that you can be awake, alone,
and sit in silence.
Spend your lunch break alone. If you work in a crowded office space, it can
be difficult to find a place to sit alone. Consider taking your lunch break in
a park or out in your car on nice days. You can sit silently and escape the
hustle and bustle of the office and regain inner peace before heading back in
to finish the day.
Go on a retreat. If your schedule and budget allow, you could go
away for a weekend alone or as a couple to a quiet destination. This isn't something you would do on a daily
basis, but consider going on an annual solitude and silent retreat. There are
many that you can choose from around the country.
Work in silence. Do you really need music or a podcast playing just because you
want something to entertain yourself? I've found that work can be a wonderful
time for silence.
Pray. One
author suggested that we begin by thanking God for His multitude of blessings
to us, and then that we learn to "pray slowly." The key word here,
she says, is "slowly," because we're not trying to just get it done,
but to use our words to bring our mind back to where God is. Then after we've
finished speaking, we spend several minutes on our knees in silence, listening
for directions for our lives and answers to our questions.
Meditate. Meditation comes in all shapes and sizes, from nearly every faith
tradition in the world, and we can each find an approach that works for best
us. It can be combined with scripture reading or studying a daily devotional.
It can be practiced individually or with a small, committed group. It only
requires a desire and a commitment.
Go to a chapel or temple. Going to a church, synagogue, or temple during non-meeting times
can be a wonderful way to find peace and quiet. It's a great place to pray or
meditate without interruption, and think about deeper questions and concerns.
The point is, there are lots of ways, places, and times to create
our own quiet time, if we intentionally set out to do so. Then, once we find
one (or two or three) that work for us, we need to keep it up until it becomes
a habit.
