Why
is it that when we focus on money, we
overlook things of greater value?
In
the midst of abundant wealth, it is easy for us to lose sight of what matters
more than money. The Gospels of Matthew,
Mark, and Luke in unison warn us that a single-minded emphasis on riches may
rob us of things of far greater worth. “For what is a man profited, if he shall
gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in
exchange for his soul?”
This human tendency to concentrate
on shiny financial objectives at the expense of more lasting priorities is an
occupational hazard for professional planners. Sometimes, with
our own abundant technical knowledge, and surrounded by our clients’ abundant
wealth, we professional planners focus too narrowly on laudable but lesser planning
priorities and end up causing inestimable human damage.
We
sometimes sacrifice lasting worth on the altar of “tax avoidance.”
We
are inclined to destroy long-term value in the quest for “asset protection.”
In
the name of facilitating our clients’ “control” of their wealth, we may create
plans that cheat our clients and their loved ones of soul-deep pearls of great
price.
In
my 35 years as a planning professional, I have observed that one of the most serious
and frequent casualties of money-centric planning is family harmony. Too often,
the unintended but long-term result of our planning is to pit brother against
brother, parent against child, and grandchild against grandparent. Not only do our planning tactics not reduce
discord and tension, we actually increase family strife and contention by the
way we structure our clients’ affairs.
That
may turn out to be a blunder of epic proportions.
Referring
to the well-documented failure of over 90% of wealthy families to survive past
the third generation, Courtney Pullen wisely observed:
The tragedy of this statistic isn’t the loss of the
money; it’s the loss of the family that goes with it. As the wealth dissipates, so does the
connective tissue of the family, whose members often end up disconnected and
embroiled in conflict.
Alex
Haley, the author of Roots, put the
significance of the family in perspective when he wrote: “In every conceivable
manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” I concur with Michael J. Fox, who said:
Family is not an important thing.
It's everything.
And
with Serena Williams:
Tennis is just a game, family is
forever.
I agree with Buddha when he said that
our highest priorities should be “to enjoy good health, to bring true happiness
to one's family, to bring peace to all.”
The
issue of promoting good health is a topic for another day. But as for bringing true happiness to our clients’
families, and bringing peace to all, I feel certain that we need to re-think
our planning strategies and processes.
Please
don’t think I am suggesting we need to become family therapists; I am saying
nothing of the sort. In certain cases,
those specialists may need to be a part of the collaborative team.
What
I am saying is that in our work AS
PLANNERS we need to recognize the damage we may be doing or the
opportunities to promote family harmony we may be missing as we craft estate
plans, financial plans, philanthropic plans, or business succession plans.
We
should have two major aims: First, we
must see that we don’t harm family harmony either intentionally or accidentally. Second, we need to learn how to proactively improve
family harmony as we work with our clients.
My next articles will address these objectives.
Next month: Family Harmony as a Planning Priority — Part 2:
First, Do No Harm
