WORLD-CLASS LISTENER
"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first
name was Always. "
-
Rita Rudner
My wise and observant father-in-law, Henry Ware Hobbs, Jr.
(1923-1993) once described a fellow attorney as "suffering from the
delusion of certainty" and said of him, "He is frequently wrong, but
never in doubt." Like Rita Rudner's Mr. Always Right, Henry's arrogant
colleague was an insufferable boor and a lousy listener. He lacked the humility
and curiosity required to listen well because he was not open to uncertainty,
the possibility that he did not already know everything.
Henry, by contrast, was an
exceptional listener because he was insatiably curious, especially in
conversation. He yearned to uncover the other person's perspective, to see the
world through their eyes. He was fascinated to discover what stories or
insights would spring forth if he listened generously and energetically. He
believed every person he met had something meaningful to teach him. For him,
the focus of any discussion was what he was learning rather than what he
already knew.
Henry was also humble. He recognized that as much as he already
knew, he still had much to learn about the world, about people, and about
himself. Regardless of any disparity in age, education, wealth, achievement,
rank, status, or power, he saw others as fellow human travelers, each with
unique experiences and remarkable brilliance. Henry was a world-class listener.
As a result, he was constantly surrounded by an adoring circle of admirers from
all walks of life. When he died unexpectedly, dozens of tearful people told us
privately they considered Henry their dearest friend. What a rich legacy!
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