Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - How to Communicate with a Millennial

HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH A MILLENNIAL   


"Compared to other generations, Millennials tend to be more collaborative, are accustomed to working in teams, and have a passion for pressure."
Joanie Connell

    

As a group, each American generation experiences the world in a way that's different from every other generation. Each cohort grows up in a period of history that molds them and affects how they see the world. As a result, each generation views life differently and learns differently. Each has different styles in communicating and different expectations of how they want to be treated.
When we understand these generational perspectives and communication styles, we can converse more effectively with each other. Not everyone is going to fit these stereotypes, but they are typical patterns and if you are aware of them you can learn to bridge the divide. This week we focus on the Millennials, also known as Generation Y.

* * * * *

The Millennial generation, loosely defined as those born between 1980 and 1994, are the later offspring of the Baby Boomers, or the early offspring of Gen X. They are sometimes referred to as the "Y Gen" or the "Nexters." They are now some 80 million strong, which is a larger demographic cohort than the Baby Boomers. By the year 2020, Millennials will be 50 percent of the workforce.

Millennials were shaped by certain historical events as they came of age. Certainly the 9/11 attacks are first and foremost in what they recall. For them 9/11 was a super, super big deal. It shook them to the foundation and will likely have a lasting effect on many of them. They grew up in a world of Columbine, Sandy Hook, and other school atrocities. They remember the Oklahoma City bombing. They had a front row seat on the Clinton impeachment and the OJ trial. Those were some of the defining events in their lives.

They grew up with parents who were heavily invested in the lives of their kids. Those parents raised them with an eye toward building their "self-esteem," so "everyone was a winner" and everyone got a trophy. They came to believe that they were as qualified as anyone to do anything. Consequently, they tend to have a minimal respect for authority and are intent on fixing the wrongs they see in the world. They tend to be both self-absorbed and self-reliant and independent.

They came of age in a world of student loans and college debts. The recent recession hit as they were entering the job market, forcing many of them to trim back their expectations. This made it harder for them to live independently. Thus, as a group they have tended to stay longer at home, or to return home after college. The term "boomerang children" has been used to describe this phenomenon.

Suffused with praise from their Boomer parents, many Millennials got used to having their voices heard early on. They were also raised with a strong dose of "getting along." Inclusiveness is a must, served up in a collaborative setting. Their rallying cry is "a win for one is a win for the team."

They are totally immersed in all things digital; they've never known a world without internet. They saw the dot-com boom and bust, and they've seen instant billionaires from this new world of technology. Millennials like and expect to communicate through technology, which provides the instant interactive feedback they thrive on.

Millennials have a reputation for wanting to rise quickly through the ranks - and looking for other opportunities when they don't. They feel that they are as good as anybody, and therefore they resent it when others talk down to them. Very often they need humor - they've had access to humor through the internet for most of their lives. They want things to be fun and engaging. They often like a challenge, especially a challenge that invites them to implement their version of the world.

One young business owner described his experience with Millennial employees: "To start with, their attitude was one of boredom, arrogance, that they were above the job." He learned to focus on something Millennials value: teamwork. To prod those who often showed up late and didn't respect authority, he explained that their tardiness genuinely inconvenienced the rest of the team.

"I'd ask how they'd feel if the shoe were on the other foot and kept emphasizing how their actions hurt not me but their co-workers," he says. His strategy clicked. "As soon as they realized how their individual work mattered to the team's success, they thrived."

So how can we use this understanding to communicate more effectively with Millennials?


I. Medium

When it comes to the medium of choice, TEXT, don't call.

68% of millennials admit to texting "a lot" on a daily basis, compared to 47% of their Gen X counterparts. As a rule, Millennials tend to not use phones to make phone calls anymore. One study showed that "telephone" apps on smartphones - that is, using your phone to make actual phone calls - are only the fifth-most-used app among the general public.

Here's some anecdotal evidence in support of the "text, don't call" rule. The phone of one of my own Millennial children has the following voicemail message: "Hi, this is _______. Send me a text message and I'll get back to you right away."

So why do many Millennials dislike talking on the phone? It could be because they grew up with the gradual introduction of instant messaging, texting, email, and other forms of written communication. Texts are instant and mobile, which means they can be read and exchanged at almost any time.

Texting is a more comfortable and precise communication form for them. They're just as instantaneous as a phone call, but provide the sender the ability to think over their words before they're sent. For a group of people dubbed "the anxious generation," this is of utmost importance. Face-to-face meetings and conference calls are not as effective with Millennials, perhaps for the same reason. In addition, phone calls require a kind of interruption to someone's day, while text messages and emails can be opened and read at the recipient's leisure.

Millennials also prefer text messages for their mass-messaging capabilities. They're also good for spreading information about emergencies, since they're more likely to be read immediately than emails.

Despite the immediate availability of text messaging and other messaging apps, email remains popular among Millennials as well. So why haven't Millennials abandoned email in favor of newer forms of communication?

It may be because emails are less urgent, and provide more space than text messages. You can write entire paragraphs, with bulleted lists and other formatting choices, rather than being limited to a few hundred characters. And despite a rising trend of checking email on nights and weekends, emails aren't expected to have the same level of immediacy as text messages.

Among themselves, Millennials are likely to employ a wide array of social media - certainly not their parents' Facebook. They're more inclined to communicate with more "exotic" platforms like Snapchat and Instagram, which many of the older generations have yet to master.


II.  Message

Millennials want to think about how the world could be different, so here's a great phrase for them, "Let's talk about how that could happen." They believe things are possible, they believe that they have the capacity to make things happen. Millennials believe you should treat them as though they are going to pull this off, and very often they will.

Millennials want to be listened to. They want to provide input and be heard. When they are, they tend to be eager, ambitious, and genuinely talented. Millennials want and expect to be taken seriously. They want to feel as though their lives and what they do mean something

It's important to be brief. Millennials have mastered the art of saying something meaningful in 140 characters or less. The more concise your own message, the more likely they are to relate to or appreciate what you say. But just because you're concise doesn't mean you should skimp on the important information. Most Millennials prefer to receive a detailed plan or instruction before jumping into a project.


Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - How to Talk to a Gen Xer

HOW TO TALK TO A GEN XER 


"Anyone born between the early 1960s and early 1980s is considered part of the Generation X cohort. Sandwiched between the Baby Boomers and Generation Y, they can often seem like the neglected middle child.

"The latest research for the "middle child" generation shows we're doing pretty darn well. We're described as innovators and disruptors who are both resilient and imaginative. Did you know that Gen Xers make up the highest percentage of startup founders at 55%?

"As with any middle child, we've learned to excel in the shadow of our older and younger siblings. Let them take the spotlight, we are happy to live our lives according to our own value system and definition of success."

Danielle Leonard

  
      
  

    
As a group, each American generation experiences the world in a way that's different from every other generation. Each generation grows up in a period of history that molds them and affects how they see the world. As a result, each generation views life differently and learns differently. Each has different styles in communicating and different expectations of how they want to be treated.  

When we understand these generational perspectives and generational communication styles, we can converse more effectively with each other. Not everyone is going to fit these stereotypes, but they are typical patterns and if you are aware of them you can learn to bridge the divide. This week we focus on Generation X.
 
* * * * *

Generation X is the demographic group following the Baby Boomers and preceding the Millennials. There are no precise dates for when Generation X starts or ends; demographers and researchers typically use birth years ranging from early-to-mid 1960s to the early 1980s. The term "Generation X" acquired its modern definition after the release of Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture, a 1991 novel written by Canadian author Douglas Coupland.

As adolescents and young adults, they were dubbed the "MTV Generation," a reference to the music video channel of the same name. They also have the nickname the "Why Me Generation" due to their sometimes-nonchalant attitudes about life and work.
 
Certain historical events during their coming of age have made profound impressions on them. They were around when the AIDS epidemic struck the country. At first it was a mystery disease and no one seemed to know what was going on. But once it became better understood, it created an awareness that there were sometimes unintended consequences to our lifestyle choices.  

Many Gen Xers were also defined in large measure by the Challenger explosion. Up until that time there was a sense, similar to the era of the Titanic disaster many decades earlier, that our machines were invincible and we were smart enough to always make them work. But with the Challenger tragedy there was a sharp setback in that way of thinking. It shocked the nation, particularly those who were young and impressionable at that time.
 
In a similar way, the major stock market crash in 1987 caused a sharp pull-back from a hyper-confident rah-rah mentality about finances and economic progress. It could be a reason that, as a group, Gen Xers tend to be financially cautious and they tend to save more than their parents or the next generation after them.

This was the generation that also saw the fall of the Berlin wall. Seniors and Baby Boomers took it as a given that we would always have these two opposing blocs, but the Gen Xers saw the Soviet bloc fall apart, leaving the United States as the only superpower. Gen Xers also witnessed the first Gulf War when Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and the U.S. and a united set of allies pushed them out in an impressive display of military force.  

Gen Xers were children during a time of reduced adult supervision compared to previous generations, a result of increasing divorce rates, increasing maternal participation in the workforce, and limited availability of childcare options outside the home. They are often known as the "Latchkey Generation" because in many cases both parents were working and they were expected to tend to themselves. The television was often the babysitter. Many Gen Xers display an independent streak based on their common experience of coming home and being responsible for themselves for large chunks of the day. They tend to be more free agents than team players.  

Many saw their parents sacrifice personal and family priorities for their jobs, and as a result, their attitudes about work is that they work to live, rather than live to work. They are more controlling of their own personal time and they want their jobs to allow for an appropriate work/life balance. For them money is very often a means to an end.  

So how can we use this understanding to communicate more effectively with Gen Xers?
 

Writer Jean Sheid aptly described the imperative of recognizing generational differences in communication styles:

Communicating to people of all age groups is now a tool to master especially when you consider the four basic groups; Traditionalist, Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and the Millennials, also known as Gen Y.

There's a difference between, "Sir I made a mistake," "Totally my fault," "My bad," and "Didn't you read my Tweet?" If you don't understand how to communicate with all ages, you'll find yourself lost - and fast.

Each of these age groups, though some of us find ourselves in more than one group, are markedly different including how they communicate with you and the world around them. Instead of attempting to communicate your way or the highway, consider how the communication styles of different generations can be used to create a better environment all around.  


In applying these principles to Gen Xers, it's important to understand that they aren't afraid of technology and most of them love new gadgets, even if it takes them a little longer than a Millennial to understand how it all works. They know and understand technology and want to use it. In fact, this was the first generation that is very media savvy. 82% of them expect you to communicate through media.  

Email is for many Gen Xers their preferred method of messaging. Communication is often short and to the point. They talk more in sound bites; long drawn-out conversations wouldn't be their strong suit. They demand individuality and they like multi-tasking.

Gen Xers like a straightforward approach. They strive for feedback and offer feedback in return. They are likely to tell you where they're coming from. They like managing their own time and solving their own problems. Remember, these are the latchkey kids; they very often travel alone and communicate that way as well.

A great phrase to communicate with them might be: "Tell me more about that." They want their opinions to be known. They want a sense of being honored. This is the generation that is always going to have something important to say.

Gen Xers like to be kept in the loop. If not kept informed, they can be offended and feel left out. Each of their days will include communication time with family or friends to ensure they are handling the work/life balance they desire.

Gen Xers may have lots of career interests and paths. Gen Xers often tend to think in "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" mode, showing less allegiance to existing groups to which they belong and less respect for rigid hierarchal structures. If they don't like something, they are likely to let you know.



Next week: Generational Communication Styles - Part 4: The Millennial Generation

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - GENERATIONAL COMMUNICATION STYLES Part 2

GENERATIONAL COMMUNICATION STYLES
Part 2:  The Baby Boomer Generation 

   
"The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn't the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility."  
John Lennon
  
      
  

 
As a group, each American generation experiences the world in a way that's different from every other generation. Each generation grows up in a period of history that molds them and affects how they see the world. As a result, each generation views life differently and learns differently. Each has different styles in communicating and different expectations of how they want to be treated.
 
When we understand these generational perspectives and generational communication styles, we can converse more effectively with each other. Not everyone is going to fit these stereotypes, but they are typical patterns and if you are aware of them you can learn to bridge the divide. This week we focus on the Baby Boomers, those born in the 15 years after World War II.

* * * * *

The Baby Boomers are the offspring of those soldiers coming back from World War II, all the folks who put their family plans on hold until things got back to normal. Until the Millennials came along, they were by far the largest generation ever to be born, so they tended by their sheer numbers to skew national demographics and trends. They've often been called the "Me Generation" or the "Woodstock Generation."
 
One of the major aspects of their early years was the advent of television. It's hard for those who are younger than the Boomer Generation to imagine a world without TV, but I remember the pre-TV era because our family was quite late in having one. I was about ten years old when we got our first TV, a hand-me-down from an uncle. It had only three channels, and it would only work for about 45 min before it would get too hot and turn itself off. There was often a struggle in our family to have it off, cooling down, before our favorite programs came on.
 
Television changed the way Baby Boomers experienced the world. It felt like they were all sharing the same events together. They all remember where they were when President Kennedy was assassinated and grieved collectively watching his funeral on television: the flag-draped casket on the caisson; John-John's salute; the eternal flame in Arlington National Cemetery. Those sad days were followed within a few years by Martin Luther King's assassination and Robert Kennedy's assassination. Television brought all the memorable moments of our lives into our living rooms. I was one of millions of Americans who were glued to the TV set for the Beatles' first concert on the Ed Sullivan show. Screaming girls and "yeah, yeah, yeah."

Popular music set the tone for a new generation that questioned the rules their parents lived by. By the time of Woodstock and the Summer of Love, it was clear that Boomers were going to dance - not march, as their elders did - to the beat of a different drummer.  

Because of the Cold War, young Boomers lived with a sense of constant peril. The space race was a big part of their lives - this intense competition between the Soviets and the United States. Every time America would do something, it seemed that the Russians would one-up us. But we eventually won the race to the moon and I clearly remember that Sunday evening when Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon. "That's one small step for [a] man; one giant leap for mankind."

For many of the Boomer Generation, their most significant coming-of-age event was the Vietnam War. Unlike World War II, Vietnam was an ambiguous war that created a massive political and philosophical clash between the generations. Many of the generation that had lived through World War II believed the Vietnam War was necessary to halt the spread of communism, while much of the Baby Boomer generation seriously questioned the "righteousness" of the war and the way it was being waged. It seemed to them that the cost of the war was borne more heavily by our young men and not so much by the rest of the country.
   
Baby Boomers also came of age in the midst of the Civil Rights movement, the women's liberation movement, and the peace movement. Then the whole Watergate mess compounded the tension and division in the country caused by Vietnam.
 
Notwithstanding the influence of the peace, love and hippie movements and the political upheaval swirling around them, Baby Boomers grew up in a time of great economic optimism. After WWII the economy grew rapidly, technology and medicine brought vastly improved lifestyles, and progress in science, including space travel, created an aura in which anything seemed possible. Boomers believed that if you worked hard, you could live the American Dream. Boomers tend to work harder - or at least longer - than Millennials or Generation X, putting in punishing hours and working overtime to make their organizations and the world a better place. It is said that Boomers live to work, they seek advancement and status, they want respect, and they expect others to pay their dues.
 
Among many Boomers, money tended to be a sign of one's status - a reflection that you have worked hard and you've come to it by rights. They were the first generation to use credit cards in a substantial way. The idea that you could buy now and pay later is a boomer phenomenon.  

Once Boomers reached their prime parenting years, it was expected that most households would have two incomes. Stay at home moms were becoming a thing of the past, as many mothers went back to work once their children were in school. Boomer parents tended to have more income, but less time to spend with their children.
 
In an ironic twist, in their later years many Boomers still have children who have not yet left home and are also responsible for the care of their aging parents. Squeezed between two weighty sets of responsibilities, Boomer women understand personally the term "Sandwich Generation."  

So how can we use this understanding to communicate more effectively with Baby Boomers?
 
Generational communication preferences tend to be based on the technology the individuals were exposed to in their lifetime. According to Alan Kay, "Technology is anything that wasn't around when you were born." As technology advances, the more digital generations become and the more they embrace new communications methods. Boomers grew up speaking in person and on the telephone; many adopted e-mail mid-life, but most did not adopt more modern digital communication technology like Twitter and the like. As a result and speaking only in generalities, Baby Boomers tend to prefer face-to-face communication or phone conversations over e-mail, and e-mail over other technologies.  

Unlike later generations. Baby Boomers tend to have sharper boundaries between work and the rest of their lives. They may stay at work longer, but when they're off, they're off and they don't maintain a perpetual electronic tether to their desks. Thus, if a coworker needs to communicate after business hours, Boomers prefer to receive an e-mail which they can retrieve on their own schedule, unless the matter is very urgent, in which case they prefer the telephone.

Boomers are the busy generation. They thought life had to be lived in a hurry and this affects their communication styles. Consequently, they don't have time for lengthy communication; they like you to answer their questions and get to the point.
 
They are also impatient with being told what to do. The best way to present an issue to them is to show them their options, ask them for their opinions, and then let them decide how best to move forward. Don't even think of giving them a direct order.

Boomers tend to work more on a communal or teamwork basis as opposed to a command and control model more typical of their World War II Generation parents. They are inclined to speak much more openly and directly than their parents. They seldom felt they had to pull any punches, and they still believe that.

Many in the Boomer Generation believe that they have the answers, so they like to hear things like, "You are absolutely right." They like being appreciated for putting in the time required to do a great job. They believe that they've figured out the world better than their parents and better than their children, and so they like to be respected as the ones who found a better way.



Next week: Generational Communication Styles - Part 3: The Generation X Generation

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - GENERATIONAL COMMUNICATION STYLES Part 1

GENERATIONAL COMMUNICATION STYLES
Part 1:  The World War II Generation 

   
"The Greatest Generation came through some stuff that we can't even imagine - the Depression, World War II - and all they wanted after that was a breather and a calm and a quiet life. Instead they get us."
P. J. O'Rourke
  
      
  


As a group, each American generation experiences the world in a different way than every other generation. Each generation grows up in a period of history that molds them and affects how they see the world. As a result, each generation views life differently and learns differently. Each has different styles in communicating and different expectations of how they want to be treated. When we understand these generational perspectives and generational communication styles, we can converse more effectively with each other.  

This article is about how to improve communications with what I call "The World War II Generation," those who lived through the Depression and World War II. Tom Brokaw defined them as "The Greatest Generation." In future articles I will look at Baby Boomers, Generation Xers, and Millennials.  

The World War II Generation tends to be traditional in their approach. They were shaped by major world events as they were coming of age. It was an astounding thing to the older members of this group when Charles Lindbergh flew solo across the Atlantic Ocean: "now we have escaped the bonds of earth."  

This generation lived through hard times. The older ones were familiar with the crash of Wall Street in 1929. Those who didn't experience it personally lived through the Great Depression that followed. Their Depression experiences shaped the way they feel about money. For them money is to be used wisely and cautiously. "You put it away, you save for a rainy day, you pay cash. You realize that it could be in short supply, so you are careful with every penny."
 
The attack on Pearl Harbor was in many cases the key defining moment of their formative years. It happened as most of them were in their teenage or early adult years, so they confronted all the experiences of World War II: the fear, the uncertainty, rationing, going off to war, and perhaps seeing their fathers and brothers called to serve. They are loyal and patriotic; they deeply believe in our country. The war they fought was a war between good and evil, between right and wrong. There were no ambiguities in their world.
 
Because they were strongly attached to the military, and because in that time most everybody was strongly aligned with their church, they tend to have a great sense of veneration for authority. They took orders from those in charge, and were comfortable giving orders when they were in charge.
 
So how can we use this understanding to communicate more effectively with the World War II generation?
 
When it comes to communication styles, this crowd tends to be more comfortable with formal, written communication and with face to face dialogue. Communication via modern technology is an alien, unnatural experience for most of them.  

They expect to be treated with respect because that was how they treated their elders. They come to trust you only as you earn their trust. They tend to be less sharing of their feelings, particularly men. Many personify the strong, silent, John Wayne type.
 
They also feel that it's important to pay your dues, that the young whippersnappers need to wait their turn. They believe your word is your bond and they don't want you to waste their time. If there is a phrase that encapsulates how you might want to address them, it is: "We respect your experience. We honor what you've done."
 
As they age, they strive to maintain their independence and they work at determining what will be their legacy - what mark they will leave on the world. Any communication with them should reinforce their sense of self-determination and should help them recognize what a difference they have made, both individually and as a group. It will serve us well to remember who they are and what they've accomplished.



Next week: Generational Communication Styles - Part 2: The Baby Boomer Generation