“Leadership is about empathy. It is about having the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives.” Oprah Winfrey
WEDNESDAY WISDOM: What Makes a Gift "Great"?
Part 2: Giving More with Less
“You give but little when you give of your
possessions. It is when you give of
yourself that you truly give.” Kahlil Gibran
As an estate planning attorney, I have from time to time been privy to, and in some cases a facilitator of, some very substantial charitable gifts. I applaud the generosity of those who make such gifts, and I appreciate the tremendous good they accomplish.
But my deepest fascination in the world of charitable giving is with people who have relatively little and yet make meaningful, life-altering gifts. The Oseola McCarty story is a prominent example. Another is the widow and her two mites in the New Testament. I had always pictured that woman as being elderly and alone, until I encountered another depiction — that of a young widow with her brood of small children who, in Jesus’ words, “cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury” because she donated “all she had.” The image above definitely changed the way I looked at that event. But whatever her age or circumstances, her story has touched millions of hearts over the centuries.
There is another tender account of a destitute widow in the Bible, this one from the Book of First Kings in the Old Testament, who also “cast in all the living that she had.” That woman, known as the widow of Zarephath, likewise showed exceptional faith and generosity. In addition, she demonstrated that rendering service is another way to make a Great Gift.
Her husband had died, and she and her son faced the grim reality of starving to death, victims of a long, grueling famine. She was making a small piece of bread for her son and herself with her last bit of flour and oil, and then afterwards they would lie down together to die.
Into this tragic setting the Lord sent the prophet Elijah, himself starving from hunger. He asked the widow to make the bread and give it to him. He wanted her not only to donate her remaining flour and oil, but also to actually bake the loaf for him. The scripture recounts that she did as asked and gave away her last morsel of food. In response to her gift and her service, she was blessed miraculously — she never ran out of flour and oil during the remainder of the drought.
This story illustrates the principle that giving of ourselves can magnify — or even supersede — giving our financial resources. Our monetary donations are far more powerful when they are accompanied by gifts of our time, talents, and physical labor. Or even if we have no money to give, we can give our service. The widow of Zarephath baked a small loaf for a hungry man of God. The little drummer boy in the Christmas carol, who thought he had no gift to give that was fit for a king, played his drum for the Christ Child, playing his best for him. I like to think of these offerings as a form of “philanthropic sweat equity.”
When we render service for a worthy cause, what is best for us to give?
Each of us has certain capabilities and skills that can be considered our Unique Abilities, things we’re really good at and that seem to flow easily for us. These talents feel natural to us and we enjoy doing them. Sometimes when we’re using these gifts, we feel energized and more alive. When we’re operating in our natural areas of strength, our “philanthropic sweat equity” donations of time and effort can have far greater impact than our normal efforts.
My friends Yale Levey and Ryan Ponsford of Gateway for Good and Main Street Philanthropy have catalogued 16 useful talents or skills that can leverage or amplify a person’s service to a charitable organization, beyond money. Do any of these Unique Abilities apply to you? Could you make a significant difference for your favorite causes or charities by giving in some of these ways?
Can you find your unique talents, skills, and strengths in this list? And when you do, how can you benefit your favorite charities more effectively by focusing your service in the areas of your greatest strength?
When we serve using our unique abilities, we can make miracles happen. The desperately poor widow of Zarephath combined service in her unique area of skill — baking bread — with a miniscule donation of flour and oil. With no money but with an enormous endowment of faith and service, she blessed both the prophet Elijah and her family, immediately and long term.
We can make exceptional gifts to the charities of our choice when we give of ourselves, using our unique talents, skills, and strengths, EVEN WHEN WE HAVE LITTLE OR NO MONEY. As I wrote in my previous Wednesday Wisdom article, “the dollar amount of our charitable gifts doesn’t matter. What makes a gift GREAT is not its size, but its character.” I challenge all of us to identify our personal gifts and talents, and then give them away in a cause greater than ourselves.
Shakespeare wrote: “The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” To me, giving more with less is the key to miraculous gifts and lasting joy.
WHAT MAKES A GIFT "GREAT"?
"Not what we give, but what we share--
For the gift without the giver is bare;
Who gives himself with his alms feeds three:
Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me."
James Russell Lowell
There are good gifts; there are better gifts; and there are Great Gifts. What distinguishes a Great Gift from an average or even wonderful gift? What converts a charitable gift into the "Great" category?
Two very dear friends, Ryan
Ponsford and Yale Levey, recently challenged me to ponder those questions. They
shared some of their own musings on this topic and invited me to add my ideas
Ryan and Yale are two of the
biggest dreamers and doers I know. They continue to spearhead the Main Street
Philanthropy work I began with them several years ago, and they are now
developing an online platform to take MSP concepts to a vastly expanded
audience, all with the mission of using philanthropy to unite a divided world.
Working with and building on Ryan and Yale's excellent thoughts on the subject, here is my answer to their query, What Makes a Gift "Great"?
A Great Gift is
Transformative. It changes the heart and life of the giver.
A Great Gift is Impactful. It
produces a measurable difference in the recipient person, cause, or
A Great Gift is Compelling. It
motivates others to make similar gifts.
A Great Gift is Fulfilling. It
satisfies long-held and deeply-felt longings of the giver.
A Great Gift is Organic. It springs
seamlessly from the life lessons and passions of the giver.
A Great Gift is Narrative. It
expresses and reinforces the central storyline of the giver's personal
A Great Gift is Empowering. It
leverages and multiplies the giver's unique skills, strengths, and capacity.
A Great Gift is Inspired. It flows
from wisdom and personal guidance from a higher power.
A Great Gift is Integrated. It meshes
with the giver's overall planning objectives and opportunities.
A Great Gift is Connective. It binds together the giver and the recipient person, cause, or organization.
As I pondered this subject, my
memory went back to one of the greatest gifts I know, one made by Oseola
McCarty to the University of Southern Mississippi. This is what I wrote several
years ago under the title "Oseola
McCarty: The Rest of the Story." As you read it, compare
my list of qualities of a great gift with her giving experience.
Oseola McCarty, an African American
washerwoman from Hattiesburg, Mississippi, single-handedly changed the
definition of philanthropy at the University of Southern Mississippi. Here's
the inside story of her amazing donation.
[Personal note: I was a professor
of business law at the University of Southern Mississippi in the mid-1980s and
later was associated with USM Foundation's Estate Planning Advisory Board. I
was also Vice-President and Trust Officer at Trustmark National Bank in the
late 1980s, where I was acquainted with some of the participants in this
In 1995, at the age of 87, Oseola
McCarty had a problem. This simple, hardworking lady had saved and
penny-pinched her way to an estate worth over $200,000 and she wasn't sure what
to do with it. The tellers at Trustmark National Bank sent her to see Paul
Laughlin, the bank's assistant vice-president and trust officer.
Listening to her story, Paul
learned that Oseola had washed and ironed other people's clothes all her life
for ten cents a pound until she "retired" at age 86 due to arthritis
in her hands. She had never married and never had any children. Most of
"her people" had passed away earlier, so she needed some advice on
what to do with her life savings.
Paul, recognizing her lack of
formal education, used a masterful approach to uncover her deeply-held
passions. He took out 10 dimes and spread them on the coffee table in front of
her. "Miss Oseola," he said, "show me with the dimes what you
want to do with your money."
"Well," she began,
picking up the first dime, "I've always believed in tithing, so this one's
got to go to the church."
"And I've got two nieces and a
nephew I want to help," she continued, picking up three more dimes.
"These are for them." Then she hesitated.
"And what about the
rest?" Paul queried.
She studied Paul as if to see if
she could trust him, smiled nervously, took a deep breath, and said, "You
know, I always wanted to be a teacher. But my auntie got sick when I was in the
sixth grade, and she didn't have anybody to take care of her. I stopped going
to school to tend her, and I was never able to go back. After she died, I was
too far behind, so I just kept working, washing and ironing and saving my
money. So, I never got to be a teacher."
Her eyes filled with tears. She paused and looked away, then composed herself and went on.
"But I understand the college in town helps black kids become teachers. I want to help them."
"You mean the University of
Southern Mississippi?" Paul asked.
"Yes, that's the one,"
"What do you know about the
University of Southern Mississippi, Miss Oseola?"
"Actually, I've never even
seen the place. It's too far to walk and I never owned a car. But I understand
they help black kids become teachers. I'm too old to do it myself, but I'd like
to help some of them become teachers."
Paul wisely recognized that she
would have needs during the rest of her lifetime, so he helped her set up a
charitable remainder trust. The fund provided income to her during her
lifetime, then at her passing went to the University of Southern Mississippi to
pay for scholarships for black students in education.
Paul also realized that sometimes,
the story about a gift can be more valuable than the gift itself. He got her
permission to tell the University about her donation.
News of that gift hit the
University of Southern Mississippi and the town of Hattiesburg like a Category
Five hurricane. The whole community was electrified! A lot of people with a
whole lot more money than Oseola McCarty looked at themselves and asked,
"Wow, if a local washerwoman can do something like that, what's wrong with
Long before she died and her
$150,000 gift passed to the University, there were millions of dollars in the
Oseola McCarty Scholarship Fund, helping to fund scholarships for needy black
students in education. Her gift changed hundreds of lives.
It changed her life too. This
humble little lady finally saw with her own eyes the University of Southern
Mississippi, where they awarded her the first honorary degree in the history of
the school. She saw the whole country. She saw the White House-from the inside,
where President Clinton awarded her the Presidential Citizen's Medal and scores
of other humanitarian honors. Harvard University awarded her an honorary
doctorate and she won the United Nations' coveted Avicenna Medal for
She later wrote a book filled with
her simple, homespun wisdom. See a copy of the cover above.
Through it all, she retained her
grace and humility. "I can't do everything," she said, "but I
can do something to help somebody. And what I can do, I will do. I just wish I
could do more."
Comparing Oseola's gift with my
outline of what makes a gift great, it's easy to see that what she did was the
epitome of GREATNESS! Bless you, Oseola, for setting such a marvelous example
for so many.
And what about our own charitable gifts and donations? How do they measure up? I'm not talking about the dollar amount, because that doesn't matter. What makes a gift GREAT is not its size, but its character. Here are some questions we can ask ourselves that can help us evaluate our gifts and hopefully guide us to put more heart into our giving: