Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Wednesday Wisdom My Valentine: Endless Love


MY VALENTINE:  ENDLESS LOVE 


We are most alive when we are in love.
John Updike

 

 
Here's a tale of two "love stories:"
Number 1. I was visiting some time ago with a woman in her early 70s. As we talked, she mentioned her children and grandchildren with fondness. Not hearing anything about her spouse, I asked, "What about your husband?"

"He died last year."
"Oh, I'm so sorry," I responded.
"Well I'm not. He was difficult, and I'm glad he's gone."
My heart broke for her and also for him. How tragic for those two lives.
* * * * *
Number 2. When it comes to love, let me be the first to acknowledge that I'm extremely fortunate and very spoiled. I've been living the dream - the Valentine's Day Dream - every day for the past 42½ years.
How did that happen? For starters, I married someone with sterling character. My wife Marcie personifies St. Paul's description of authentic love, and that permeates every facet of our relationship.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-6
Second, we both do our best to live unselfishly, seeking the welfare of the other first. I love how H. Jackson Brown, Jr. and Katharine Hepburn each expressed this idea. "Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own." "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything."
Many people admire the concept of living unselfishly in marriage but have a hard time doing it. It was my good fortune to find a beautiful woman who not only understands the importance of unselfishness but who also puts it into practice every day.
Third, we share the core belief that a loving, nourishing marriage has the capacity and the destiny to become eternal. Marcie and I believe our Heavenly Father honors faithful, devoted marriages and will perpetuate them beyond the grave. Irish novelist Cecelia Ahern accurately described our feelings.
"Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what.  They say that nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after we're gone." 

When you believe in forever love, you treat your relationship differently than if you consider it temporary or transitory. You build differently when you build to last.
Thank you, Marcie, for showing me the meaning of endless love and eternal marriage. Happy Valentine's Day from your devoted and forever grateful husband!

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Wednesday Wisdom: Workin' on Something Big, Part II - Who Do You Want to Serve?



WORKIN' ON SOMETHING BIG, Part II:
Who Do You Want to Serve?        


"When you know who the people are you want to serve, it will be easier to decide how you want to allocate your time and your resources. Knowing who shall benefit from your work will automatically make it easier to decide what sort of work you might want to pursue."
Monika Kanokova

         
 
  
 
For most of my professional career I've been an innovator in the fields of estate planning, financial planning, and philanthropy. Many of those innovations led me over the past three decades to work with increasingly wealthier clients who could more readily afford my unique services. Those opportunities were interesting and heady indeed.

As a high-end innovator, I achieved a measure of recognition and success. I spoke on national platforms, wrote three professional books, visited some very exotic locations, and worked with some remarkable families. It was a joyful and rewarding time of my life, and I'm grateful for those relationships and those experiences.

About five years ago, however, I began to feel a yearning to stay a little closer to home and to direct my energies and skills toward middle-income families-those who have some resources but not a great deal of wealth. Those folks, who have a little but not a lot, who work hard and pay their bills and raise their families and try to prepare for the future, often feel that affordable and convenient professional services are hard to find. Whereas well-to-do families have lots of "helpers" trying to serve them, and there is an extensive safety net of free services for the poor, middle-income families are often left to fend for themselves.  

The more I considered their situation, the more I wanted to spend the remaining years of my career providing affordable and convenient professional services to middle-income families in Central Florida. It just seemed so RIGHT for who I am and what I want my work to be about.  

My efforts to do that for the past few years have been gratifying but not very efficient. I've spent a lot of time running the roads and spinning my wheels. I've been searching for a better way, and recently I found it.
 
A few months ago, I was looking for a quality wills and trusts attorney for one of my brothers in New Mexico, my home state. My quest led me to reconnect with Matt Urrea, a colleague from Albuquerque whose background is similar to mine.  

Matt has impeccable professional credentials and has spent much of his career working with high net-worth clients. Over a decade and a half ago, he too observed that middle-income families had few viable options for obtaining professional, affordable, and convenient estate planning services. He came to the conclusion that wills and trusts attorneys ought to be reaching out and making themselves more available to potential middle-income clients, who were increasingly avoiding traditional law firms and turning to the dangerous and impersonal world of on-line wills.  

In 2003, Matt offered a sensible alternative when he launched Walk-in Wills in a highly visible and easily accessible shopping center in Albuquerque, right between an ice cream parlor and a beauty shop. He offered middle-income families the opportunity to work with a real attorney with extensive experience. He offered free phone calls, straight-talk answers, and upfront, low-cost, flat-fee pricing. He offered prompt completion of his legal services. His business model turned out to be a smart solution to a vexing problem, resulting in many satisfied clients and a rewarding service experience for him.


 

When I saw Matt's office, I knew his approach would be a much better way to serve my clients. Fortunately for me, Matt was willing to work with me to build the first Walk-in Wills prototype outside of New Mexico. Creating my own Walk-in Wills office in Orlando has become my "Something Big." I've found renewed energy and abundant creativity. I haven't had this much fun in a long, long time.

I'm excited to announce that Walk-in Wills PLLC is now open in Orlando in a Publix shopping center at the very busy intersection of University and Dean Road, right off SR 417. Our address is 10069 University Boulevard, Orlando, FL 32817, and our telephone number is 407-725-7055.  

We offer professional, affordable, and convenient legal services for middle-income families and individuals. If you're among the 70% of adult Americans who need wills, living trusts, living wills, and more, we would be happy to help you. You're invited to call for an appointment, visit our website at www.WalkinWills.com , or better yet, why don't you just come by and "walk in" to our new office? We'd love to see you there.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - Blessed are the Shepherds, for They Shall See Angels

BLESSED ARE THE SHEPHERDS, FOR THEY SHALL SEE ANGELS        


"The First Noel the angel did say
Was to certain poor shepherds
in fields as they lay;
In fields as they lay, keeping their sheep,
On a cold winter's night that was so deep."

         
 
  
 
A lowly band of shepherds played a central role in St. Luke's account of the first Christmas.  

There were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.


 
   
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

It was no accident or coincidence that humble shepherds were the first to learn of Christ's birth. It was not by chance that they "came with haste" to find the babe who would grow up to become "the Good Shepherd."  

It is in the nature of shepherds to love their sheep and to exhibit Christlike character as they minister to their flocks:
  • Shepherds succor the young, the ill, the aged, the hungry, the homeless, the handicapped.
  • Shepherds watch over the defenseless and the infirm through dark nights and dreary days.
  • Shepherds safeguard the lambs within the fold, then go in search of those who have wandered away from safety.
In today's world, very few people actually raise sheep, and fewer still tend them with a shepherd's care. But there are many who exhibit the biblical shepherds' character as they selflessly serve others. We know these modern-day "shepherds" by many names, including nurse, teacher, social worker, daycare attendant, mother, father, grandparent, friend, nursing home aide, minister, police officer, hospice worker, scout leader, homeless shelter attendant, EMT, godparent, doctor, and mental health counselor, to name a few.

I believe these caregivers who tend their "lambs" with love and tenderness will find peace on earth and good will, as promised by the heavenly host. I believe that in their labors these "shepherds" will be surrounded by angels - some of the heavenly variety and others in the form of the angelic young, ill, aged, hungry, homeless, and handicapped they care for.

I believe these present-day shepherds, like their ancient counterparts, will be led by their caring hearts and their kind, unheralded service to find the Christ Child, the Savior of the world. Did He not teach his disciples, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me"? Matthew 24: 40

During this celebratory season of the year, while the rest of us are "nestled all snug in [our] beds," let us not forget these modern-day shepherds, the caregivers and protectors who keep watch over their little flocks by night or day, who maintain their faithful vigil caring for the tender lambs and the vulnerable sheep.  

Thanks, you shepherds of today, for demonstrating Christlike love in your daily service. May His grace and blessings be upon you this Christmas season and always.


Merry Christmas from the Farnsworth Family and all of us at SunBridge and Personal Asset Advisors.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - My Christmas Wish List: Less Stress, Less Whining

MY CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:  LESS STRESS, LESS WHINING       


"Many of our choices have led to the predicaments we are presently complaining about."
Monica Johnson

         
 
  
 
Why do we often turn the most joyful time of the year into the most stressful?

Christmas should be a time of great cheer. But if we're not careful, we can suck all the happiness out of the season with an inflated list of to-dos and bloated expectations.

This tendency to over-program the holidays is similar to the mistake many families make on vacation at Disney World, the so-called "happiest place on earth." Well-intended parents push so hard to "get their money's worth" that they make their children and themselves miserable. Trust me, there's nothing happy about dragging hot, exhausted youngsters to yet another ride or attraction when all they really want is to take a nap or go swimming in the hotel pool. I learned firsthand many years ago that relentlessly driving a bunch of whiney children to "see everything" is not the way to enjoy a Disney vacation.


 


In the same way, pushing ourselves to make the most of the Christmas season can make us tired, cranky, and ungrateful. For example, take the issue of shopping for presents. Gift-giving should fill our hearts with delight. But when we overdo it, we end up missing the whole point. We spend all our time stuck in traffic getting into or out of the mall. We race from store to store or website to website looking for "the perfect gift." We completely blow our budget and max out our credit cards. For many, gift-giving is a major source of stress - the relentless commercialism, the whining demands, the financial pressure.   

Consider the matter of holiday parties. What could be more fun than joining friends and family in light-hearted merriment?   That is, until we find practically every spare moment jam-packed with yet another event. What were we thinking when we accepted that invitation? I just want to stay home tonight. Do I have to go? Can I find a gracious way to back out?

Then there are the holiday decorations. Some folks act like they're in an arms race with the neighbors, throwing up more and more lights, wreaths, blow-up Santas and snowmen, and those green and red projector things that are all the rage now. And inside, every square inch is filled with all sorts of knick-knacks. These gung-ho, competitive holiday decorators are so exhausted when they finally get it all up, they collapse and can barely enjoy the view. They try not to think about the daunting task of later taking everything down and putting it away.

The most unfortunate part of the season is the people who have shopped or partied or decorated themselves into a frazzle and then go around complaining about how hard the holidays are. They gripe about how much they've spent or how their feet hurt or how they don't find the same enjoyment in Christmas as they used to. Puh-lease!  

Here's my advice: focus on quality, not quantity. Trim the size and cost of your gift list. Pare down the number of invitations you allow yourself to accept. Reduce the holiday decorating. Build some quiet time into your calendar. Reflect on the reason for the season. Sit a spell, share some stories, and enjoy the people in your life.


And whatever you do, if you do overdo it, please spare the rest of us all the whining.   

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - Give the Gift of Story-Listening

GIVE THE GIFT OF STORY-LISTENING       


"One of the sincerest forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."
Bryant H. McGill

         
 
  
 
The last five or six weeks of the year are jam-packed with holidays. Whether they have secular or religious origins, these celebrations bring cheer to an otherwise gloomy part of the year. Perhaps they are designed to boost our morale and lift our spirits when the weather is cold and the nights are long and dark.  

Most of these festive occasions bring together family and friends. Several of them also include traditions of giving gifts. I'd like to suggest a gift that's simple and affordable, yet infinitely valuable. It's something all can give, regardless of age, education, or financial status, and it's a perfectly appropriate present whenever family and friends gather:
 
My suggestion: this year, give the gift of Story-Listening.

In my work with hundreds of clients, and in writing Like a Library Burning: Sharing and Saving a Lifetime of Stories, (visit our website) I have found that "in millions of ways, large and small, stories matter."  

Everyone is full of stories. "To be a person is to have a story to tell," wrote Isak Dinesen. Those stories have an urgent need to be told. Maya Angelou is credited with recognizing that "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."  

Authors Scott West and Mitch Anthony observed:

We all have a biographical impulse that fuels a parade of stories about ourselves, yet we somehow fail to connect the need to tell our own story to the fact that others harbor the same impulse. While every person's story may not be interesting to others, it is interesting to them, and they want to tell it.

If this is true - and I believe it is - then one of the greatest gifts we can give another is to listen with love and attention to their stories. "Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don't have to do anything else. We don't have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen." Margaret J. Wheatley

Listening in this way is an act of love, an acknowledgment of the inherent worth of the storyteller and an expression of our affection for them. What a sweet gift to give another!

Good story-listeners are intentional about drawing personal narratives out of others. They find and learn to use a handful of what I call "story-leading questions." These are inquiries that invite the other person to answer with a story. These queries exhibit a warm and welcoming interest in the life of another, and invariably lead to wonderful memories and stories.

You may have some of your own holiday-oriented story-leading questions that work well for you; if not, here are some you might try:
  • ·         From your perspective, how have Thanksgiving gatherings changed over the years?
  • ·         What are some of your favorite memories of Christmas?
  • ·         How was Hanukah celebrated in your family growing up?
  • ·         What was a New Year’s celebration that stands out in your memory?
  • ·         Who is someone who gives very thoughtful gifts?  What are some examples you can recall?
  • ·         Do you have some great memories about Santa Clause?  When/how did you find out?
  • ·         Some people take holiday trips to interesting places.  Have you ever done that?
  • ·         What was the best gift you ever received?  That you gave?


This year, give the gift of Story-Listening. Inviting others to share their stories is a welcome and generous gift any time of the year, but will be especially appreciated during the holiday season. It's a small and simple thing, but it will add great joy to their life and yours. 

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - WHAT WE HAVE, NOT WHAT WE HAVE NOT






WHAT WE HAVE, NOT WHAT WE HAVE NOT      


"I felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet."
Chinese proverb

         
 
  
 
When I was about six or seven, I was a bit jealous of one of my classmates named Robert. While I was one of several children, Robert was an only child. While I had but a few toys, which I had to share with all my siblings, he seemed to have every toy imaginable and he didn't have to share them with anyone.  

My envy of Robert hit a new peak when I attended his birthday party and discovered that he owned the ultimate 1950s luxury: his own electric record player and dozens of records to play on it. Life just wasn't fair.

One of the records he played several times that day was a song by Burl Ives called "Horace the Horse." Horace was a merry-go-round horse who always seemed to be bringing up the rear, which made him quite miserable. I could readily relate to Horace:

Horace the horse on the merry-go-round
Went up and down, round and round
He's been sad since the day he found
He's the very last horse on the merry-go-round.

The music began and away they'd go
High and low, to and fro
Poor old Horace would always say
"I'm the very last horse again today."

How he tried and tried and tried
But he just never could win
Horace cried and cried and cried,
'Cause all the other horses were ahead of him.

The more I listened to Horace's tale of woe and compared my situation with Robert's, the more unsatisfied I became with my own miserable life.  

But then I listened carefully to the last verse.

As its message sunk in and I understood how that lesson could apply to me at that very moment, everything changed for me, just as it did for Horace:

Then came the day on the merry-go-round
Horace turned, looked around, then said, "Gosh, Oh gee!
I'm the very first horse on the merry-go-round
'Cause the others are following me!"

My pathetic little pity party ended promptly when I changed the way I viewed my situation in comparison to Robert's. Sure, he had lots of toys, but he had no one to play with. I had a whole batch of built-in playmates. We could play basketball or football or hide-and-seek or kick the can or Red Rover at our house, but all Robert could do was play records to himself. Poor Robert!

Somehow those words from Horace the Horse and the lesson they taught have stuck with me all these years. They remind me that there is magic - or misery - in the ways I compare myself to others, and the choice is mine and mine alone. If I find myself lamenting my lot in life, I have but to turn around and, if I choose to, I can see life differently.  

Thomas S. Monson said, "Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings." In a similar vein, the Greek philosopher Epictetus observed, "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."  

This Thanksgiving, I invite you to pause and contemplate your blessings. I encourage you to turn, look around, and say "Gosh, Oh gee!" as you discover how wonderful your life really is. I recommend that you express your appreciation to the people who matter most to you, and give thanks for all we enjoy here in America that others in the world can only dream of having. This Thanksgiving, be grateful.

* * * *

Here's a link for the song about Horace the Horse:  
 
       

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Wednesday Wisdom - Here's to the Late Bloomers

HERE'S TO THE LATE BLOOMERS      


"I'll tell you, there is nothing better in life than being a late bloomer. I believe that success can happen at any time and at any age."
Salma Hayek
  

 

Last Saturday - November 11 - I planted kale and arugula sprouts in my backyard garden.  

To some, planting vegetables so late in the season may sound foolhardy. But with our growing conditions here in Harmony and my green thumb, there's still plenty of time to produce lots of delicious, healthy crops. In fact, vegetables grow better when our nights get cooler.

On January 2, 2018 - at the age of 65 - I will be launching a new business enterprise.  

Some of my friends have questioned why I would do such a thing when I'm already at an age when lots of folks are ready to turn themselves out to pasture. Time to hang it up, slow down, and learn how to play golf, they say.

I don't see it that way. To me, I'm still in the middle of my growing season. I still have some blooms left in me. I may not have as much energy as I did when I was 35, but I have more insight, life wisdom, human understanding, and useful knowledge. I think I can still bring great value to the table for those who want to get their legal and retirement affairs in order.

Many folks my age have discovered a new passion and have gone on to do exceptional things after "normal" retirement age. For example, Colonel Sanders was 65 when he launched the first Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise. From there, he went on to become a multimillionaire and a world-famous icon. Grandma Moses was 75 when she first took up painting. One of her 3,600 works, Sugaring Off, which she painted when she was 83 years old, sold a few years ago for $1.2 million.  

At my "advanced age," I have discovered a new mission: I want to deliver first-class professional planning services to middle income families conveniently and at an affordable price.  

Middle-class clients today find themselves on the horns of a dilemma when it comes to wills, trusts, and other planning tools: Average consumers consider traditional law firms too slow, too expensive, and largely unapproachable. As a result, many Americans have turned to Legal Zoom and other online services. Sadly, the online route is often dangerous and fraught with serious mistakes. The results can be disastrous.

Case in point: In Aldrich v. Basile (2014), the Florida Supreme Court adjudicated the estate of Ann Aldrich. She intended that her entire estate go to her brother James. Unfortunately, Ann had prepared both a will and an amendment by herself using "E-Z Legal Forms." Both turned out to be defective under Florida law.

The self-made will had no residuary clause, so much of Ann's property was not covered and did not go to James. Ann tried to fix that mistake with an amendment or "codicil," but the amendment wasn't witnessed correctly so the court threw it out.

Two of Ann's nieces who were not included in the will contested the will during probate, arguing that they were entitled to part of the estate that was not specifically included in the document. They argued that because the will didn't have a residuary clause, the unnamed assets should pass through Florida's laws of intestacy.

After more than four years of legal wrangling, the court ruled that much of Ann's substantial estate went to the two nieces, whom she did not like. Although the court seemed sympathetic to James Aldrich's plight, it ultimately found that any other interpretation would require the court to rewrite the will to include provisions that Ann Aldrich did not specify.
 
Justice Barbara Pariente said the case reminded her of the old adage, "penny wise and pound foolish," for had Ann Aldrich used a qualified attorney to draw up her will, her brother likely would have wound up with the full estate as she intended.

* * * *

Tragic messes like the Aldrich case are all too common and altogether unacceptable. Besides traditional law firms and online services like Legal Zoom and its ilk, I believe there is a third way, a better way. I have discovered that better way and I'm prepared to offer it to the good people of Central Florida in January. I am building my new business around this simple idea:  Middle Income Families Deserve Professional And Convenient Estate Planning and Retirement Planning Services at an Affordable Price.    

So, when is it too late to plant? For me, not yet. I still have some growing and blooming to do. As Robert Frost wrote, "I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep,   And miles to go before I sleep."


Can't wait for January.