What’s Next? From Airy-Fairy to Nitty-Gritty

 

Sometimes clients and donors initiate the process. They approach you seeking assistance in accomplishing the next big thing they crave for their life, their marriage, their family, their business, their giving, or their legacy. At other times, the life-review aspects of The Meaning of Success Priceless Conversation, or some similar process draws a compelling craving to the surface and make it clear to them they must do something about it right away.

I use a simple question in those situations to focus and clarify their urgency and to launch a Level-Three conversation: “WHAT’S NEXT?”Here are two examples.               

Advisor: “It’s nice to hear from you, John. How have you been?”      

Client: “Not well. I was in the hospital last week. They thought it may have been a stroke or a series of strokes, but they’re not completely sure. However, it sure scared the willies out of me.”      

Advisor: “Oh no. That sounds serious. Tell me more.”      

Client: “I just don’t know whether I’m going to be able to keep running our family business, and I realize I need to make sure Mark is firmly in charge. You’ve been telling us for years we need a transition strategy, and now I know we can’t put it off any longer. I realize that if this stroke had been more serious, we’d have a real mess on our hands right now.”      

Advisor: “I can tell by the sound of your voice that this is vitally important to you. I want to help you and your family, and I think I can. But tell me as succinctly as you can, what’s next? What’s the next thing we need to do now?”      

Client: “I need you to help me pass the reins over to Mark. I know we’ve been talking about this for years and I’ve been putting it off, but now it’s time.”       

* * *

Advisor: “Mary, here’s your Meaning of Success Priceless Conversation gift box, ready for you to add to your Legacy Library. That was such a delightful experience for me to share with you.”      

Client: “Thanks so much. It really was enjoyable. But it got me thinking.”      

Advisor: “About what?”

Client: “About the fact that I never finished college. We got married when Ted graduated and we always said I’d go back after we got settled, but then we started having babies, and things got so busy and it just never happened. Now that Ted is gone . . . . “      

Advisor: “It sounds like you’ve got something in mind for your next big step? What is that?”      

Client: “I want to go back to college and finish my degree. Imagine that, at my age! But I don’t know where to even start. I guess I need someone to help me figure out how to do that. I trust you. Could you help me with that?”

With the answer to the “What’s next?” question clearly on the table, the advisor needs to follow four more steps:

1) Ask: What makes this so important to you?        

2) Ask: What are the consequences if we don’t take care of this?        

3) Ask: What are the benefits if we do take care of this?        

4) Describe: Here’s my process for helping you addressing this problem.       

The three questions help the client or donor and the advisor appreciate more fully why accomplishing the next step truly matters. By answering them candidly and thus developing and clarifying within the client’s or donor’s mind two sharply contrasting stories — the negative story of not reaching the desired objective and the positive story of doing so — the client or donor reinforces their internal drive to get going. It is the clarity and juxtaposition of these two internal narratives that drive the client or donor to action. (Once again, it’s all about the story.)               

The description of your process tells the client or donor that you have a system for finding the best answers to their problems and delivering solutions. It also shows that you are experienced, that you understand people in their situation, that you are thoughtful and systematic, and that you can guide them to where they want to go. It gives them the confidence to follow you.               

Strategic Vision: From Airy-Fairy to Nitty-Gritty

At this point it’s time to begin plotting a course for improving an aspect of the client’s or donor’s future, such as family relations, health, investments, and so on. We call this process the Strategic Vision. There are a number of SunBridge tools available for accomplishing this; for example, we use a variety of worksheets such as the “Get It Done Action Plan” or the “Strategic Vision” template. With a larger group, we may use a portable storyboard and colored Post-It® Notes. On these we write the client’s or donor’s best thinking on several important questions:               

1. What aspect of your life do you want to change?                

2. Why is it important for you to do so?                

3. Where are you now?                

4. What if you stay where you are now?                

5. What might be holding you back from moving forward?                

6. Where do you want to be a year from now? In the next 90 days?                

7. What are the benefits of reaching those objectives?                

8. What action steps are necessary for you to get from where you are now to where you want to be?               

The result of the thinking process engendered by this series of questions is a set of clear and specific actions steps to be taken, some by the client or donor, some by the advisor, and some by other people.               

A client’s or donor’s Strategic Vision or Get It Done Action Plan may include anything from losing ten pounds and rediscovering romance with a spouse to founding an international philanthropic organization. The only rule is: If it matters to the client or donor, it matters. We have seen that this Strategic Vision approach allows the client or donor to keep both broad vision and next-steps clear and present.               

The advisor can then set up this set of action steps in a simple X-Y grid, with the various action items along one axis and relevant time intervals along the other. This graphing is what translates the vision from theory or ideal into practice, while the simplicity of the structure ensures that it stays flexible and therefore useful.               

One of our colleagues who took the SunBridge training said that Strategic Vision takes the “airy-fairy” of a mere vision and turns it into the “nitty-gritty” of tangible steps needed for the realization of that vision. This is the essence of Level Three.               

It is not just about getting the big picture of the client’s or donor’s life, beyond the situational stories shared by the client at Level Two. It’s about identifying the life story, the through-lines of concern, the abiding and persistent values and interests, and crafting them into a guidebook, a map, a tangible plan. Some of us may go our entire lives without finding someone willing and able to serve as an ally in this process. At Level Three, this is precisely what your clients or donors find in you.

The Meaning of Success

 

In the hands of a Master Planner, The Meaning of Success Priceless Conversation uses clients’ or donors’ own words, thoughts, insights, and stories to discover and clarify how they see life, what they value in life, and what ultimately they want from life.
              

Just as each one of us has developed our own unique definition of the meaning of money based on a collection of experiences called “meaning of money stories,” we also have developed our own unique definition of what it means to be successful, again based on a set of experiences that we in SunBridge call “meaning of success stories.” The Meaning of Success Priceless Conversation uses a set of story-leading questions and an interview to help the client or donor recall and share these stories, and then draw his or her own conclusions from them. From that interview, the Master Planner develops a clear understanding of what to offer the client or donor.               

There are many facets of success in life; The Meaning of Success Priceless Conversation focuses on five of them:  

Professional success  
Success in learning and education       
Financial success       
Success in relationships       
Personal and spiritual success      

Within each of these five areas of focus, clients or donors are invited to recall life experiences that helped to shape the way they define success. From these stories, they are invited to compare their early definitions of success in each area with their current views, and to identify secrets to success they have distilled from those experiences.        

When I am working with clients, I sometimes share this example of a learning-and-education “meaning of success story” from my own life.

As an elementary school student, getting good grades was always easy for me, so report card day was always a piece of cake. At least it was until fifth grade in Miss Ratliff’s class.      

Miss Ratliff was a tall, awkward woman who wore professorial half-glasses, pulled-back-into-a-bun hair, and most of the time a severe, judgmental expression. She expected a great deal from her students. Fun and horseplay were never permitted in her class.        

Miss Ratliff employed, I discovered on the first report card day of the school year, her very own custom-designed report card, one I had never seen before and never since. Besides the usual places for letter grades for academic subjects and for “S’s” and “U’s” for deportment, at the bottom there were two statements and a place for Miss Ratliff to check one or the other. They read:

“Student works to the best of his ability.”

“Student does not work to the best of his ability.”      

When report cards were handed out that day, I scanned mine to confirm the usual complement of A’s and S’s, then carried it home to my parents. After supper, I went to my parents’ room for my customary report-card-day meeting with my dad, fully expecting the usual commendation for another job well done. To my surprise, I found my father looking rather stern and displeased.      

"Scott, I’m concerned about your report card,” he said.      

“But dad,” I protested, “I got straight A’s and straight S’s. You can’t get any better than that.”      

“Maybe so,” he replied, “but look down here at the bottom. It says you are not working to the best of your ability.”

“Oh,” I uttered and swallowed hard. My mind was racing. “Who does she think she is?” I thought to myself. “I’m her star pupil. It’s not my fault that her work is too easy for me and that I can just coast to an easy A.” But I didn’t disagree with her assessment. My dad went on, cutting off my thoughts.

“Son, I’m happy that you got good marks, but I’m disappointed that you seem to think that going to school is just about getting a grade. It’s not. It’s about getting an education, and for someone with your capabilities, that means pushing yourself, reading ahead, exploring on your own, asking for extra credit assignments, being curious. For some people, straight A’s are not good enough. Do you understand?”      

I nodded my head, a little puzzled but starting to see a bigger perspective. “I think so, dad.” I mumbled.       

“Well, I hope that Miss Ratliff never has to check the ‘does not work to the best of his ability’ box again.”      

“Me too,” I said, relieved to be getting off with just a warning. “Me too.”      

Happily I can report that she never did all the rest of fifth grade.      

That experience and many others, I tell my clients, helped to shape my sense of what it means to be successful in learning and education. Those experiences also helped me figure out some of the secrets to success, and gave me a sense of satisfaction for the achievements I've enjoyed and a quest for further things I still had left to accomplish.               

“Like you,” I say to my clients, “I have similar experiences, similar definitions, similar secrets, and similar longings in the other areas of my life, financially, professionally, personally, spiritually, and in relationships. As your advisor, I want to understand how you define success. I want to capture your secrets to success in all facets of your life. I want to hear of your accomplishments, your moments of feeling proud of yourself.               

“And most important of all, I want to know what’s still missing for you, what’s still left to do or achieve or become, in order for you to feel completely successful in your life.”      

I love the structure and simplicity of The Meaning of Success Priceless Conversation, and the fact that when finished I can deliver a beautiful package for the client’s or donor’s legacy library. It makes it easy because the process, the experience, and the deliverable all come in one elegant kit.               

But it is not imperative to employ a formal process to begin to understand what’s still missing for the client or donor, and to learn what the next steps need to be. In certain situations, I can achieve approximately the same result using three questions to lead into a thoughtful and meaningful discussion, especially if my listening skills are up to par. Those three questions are:               

1. If you had an abundance of time, energy, and money, how would you live your life?       

2. If your doctor told you that you had three years to live, what would you do with that time?

3. If your doctor told you that you had 24 hours to live, what regrets would you have?      

Once again, questions of this sort, combined with transformational listening, allow the Master Planner to begin seeing the big picture of the client’s or donor’s past and present—essential information for mapping their ideal future. From there, it’s time for the Master Planner to show the client or donor he or she has a process for accomplishing the three roles of the Level-Three Advisor: architect, drafter of blueprints, and general contractor. The details of how to do that will be the subject of my next article: “What’s Next? From Airy-Fairy to Nitty-Gritty.”

Rewarded for Your Wisdom: The Calling of the Master Planner

 

I’m an aficionado of great planning. I love to observe exceptional planners in action, and I am awed and enchanted by them.               

In my work, I meet planners in lots of different specialties — financial planners, estate planners, philanthropic planners, business planners, and others. I’ve learned that certain things are true about planners, regardless of their specialty.               

I’ve learned that planners come in three levels: apprentice, journeyman, and master.

Apprentice planners are still learning the ropes. They’re trying to get all the rules, regulations, techniques, and explanations down. They are self-conscious and sometimes insecure. They worry about being “found out” as a neophyte. Generally, with sufficient time and experience, they’ll progress to journeyman status.               

Journeyman planners have passed through the learning curve. They know the ropes; they’ve learned the rules, regulations, techniques, and explanations. They keep up to date with current developments and they produce good plans. Their work product and their work style are completely adequate.               

Most planners with a few years of experience move from apprentice status into the journeyman category. But most never move beyond being a journeyman. Only a few become what I call “Master Planners.”               

What distinguishes Master Planners from experienced, solid journeyman planners who never blossom into Master Planners?               

Master Planners have wonderful command of planning tools and techniques, but so do many experienced journeyman planners. They tend to have many years of experience, but the same is true for others who have not achieved Master Planner status, and perhaps never will. They enjoy their work, but so do apprentices and journeymen. These are not what set this elite group apart.               

In my view, Master Planners possess three unique abilities and they understand and apply five profound principles. Some journeyman planners have some of these skills but not all of them or not much of them. It is this rare combination of talents and principles, blended in graceful harmony, that produces Master Planners.               

First, Master Planners have the ability to connect quickly and deeply with clients and donors. They can sit down in a business context with someone they’ve never met and within five minutes the client or donor is pouring out their heart to them. The client or donor feels an almost immediate sense of trust and understanding. The client or donor feels that they are truly being heard, perhaps for the first time by a planning professional. Because of this ability, Master Planners learn more about their clients and donors than journeyman planners ever do.               

Second, Master Planners have the ability to see the future. I’m not talking about crystal balls and tarot cards. I’m referring to the Master Planner’s gift for taking in a family situation, the current state of planning, a business or set of assets, and combining that information with their understanding of human nature and family dynamics, and knowing, literally knowing, how that scenario will ultimately play out. It’s not that they’ve seen it before — often they have not — but they perceive things their journeyman colleagues do not, and they identify as significant certain human details that lesser planners gloss over. With that clear view of the future, they are ready to move forward.               

Third, Master Planners create structures and processes that change the course of the future for the donor or the client or the client’s family or business. Having seen the future, they are prepared to re-write it. They understand the levers of transformation and how to pull them so that outcomes many months and years down the road are changed for the better. They “get” how legal, financial, philanthropic and business tools and techniques operate in the real world with real people. As a result, they orchestrate elegant and effective solutions that work today and well into the future. Their plans are indeed masterpieces, works of art.               

In addition to these three unique abilities, Master Planners understand five critical and powerful principles and how to apply them in their work.               

Master Planners understand that, above all, they deliver wisdom. In a world awash with data and in the era of the “information superhighway” and the “knowledge worker,” Master Planners recognize, in the words of Proverbs, that wisdom is more precious than rubies. They know that wisdom, the ability to apply knowledge and information with discernment and discretion, is that which sets them apart and for which they should be most abundantly compensated. They structure their business so they are in fact rewarded for their wisdom.               

Master Planners understand that they operate in the fifth economy, the transformation economy. They know they are in the business of changing lives. They do not deal primarily in commodities, goods, services, or even experiences, although these are necessarily ingredients of what they do. Master Planners understand that, however their task has been described, they have in fact been hired to be a catalyst for changing people and producing lasting human improvements. Their professional offerings are presented so as to reflect this significant insight.               

Master Planners understand that their most important professional skill is the ability to listen. They practice — or perhaps better said, they embody — transformational listening. Transformational listening goes beyond listening with the physical ears; it is listening with ears of discernment. Transformational listening is not a set of techniques; it is a way of being with another person. It is not based on some clever approach or device; it is based on the deep-down way Master Planners see themselves and others.               

Master Planners understand the art of planning as well as the science. Like Fred Astaire or Michael Jackson, once they learn to count and they learn the steps, Master Planners begin to feel the rhythm of planning in their bones. They know instinctively how to move to the music. They have a sense of how things could be done that goes beyond what others taught them. They take their craft beyond great to amazing.               

Master Planners understand that collaboration is essential to their success. Regardless of the skill of the lone violinist, the greatest symphonic composition in the world is incomplete and unfulfilling without the rest of the orchestra. Master Planners are team players, not prima donnas. They are so comfortable in their own roles that they are neither jealous of nor intimidated by the talents of others. They enjoy bringing other world-class talent to the stage for the benefit of their clients and donors.               

This rare combination — three unique abilities together with five profound understandings — is the constellation that produces Master Planners. When the stars align in this way, the result for clients and donors is planning that addresses the deepest and most significant issues in their lives and hearts. It addresses their deepest fears and worries and brings into reality their most important hopes and dreams.               

For Master Planners, the result is the rare joy and fulfillment from comes from discovering the gifts that make them come alive and then employing those gifts to serve mankind. It is doing what they were put on this earth to do. This is the calling of the Master Planner.

The Expert as Listener

 

“When people talk, listen completely. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” Earnest Hemmingway

We all know what an expert is, don’t we? That’s a person who knows a lot and gets paid to deliver brilliant answers. The essence of what he does is talk, right?

Wrong.

The so-called expert who can’t or won’t listen well — regardless of how smart he is — is more often than not useless:   
            
• He gives the wrong answer because he misses important information.

• He gives the right answer to the wrong question.

• He gives the right answer but his answer is incomprehensible to the client or donor.

• He answers the obvious question but completely misses the real question.

• He gives the right answer but completely misses the human implications of both the question and the answer.
 
• He gives the right answer but his advice isn’t followed because clients and donors don’t trust him.

A real expert is an expert listener.

A real expert realizes that the quality of his answer is only as good as the quality of the information he hears. A real expert knows that if he doesn’t hear the correct question or the real question, his answer — even though correct — will be largely worthless. A real expert recognizes that until clients or donors feel listened to and understood, his answers will be suspect and his recommendations will not be implemented.

A real expert understands that when he sits down with a client or donor, there are two experts in the room, not one. A real expert knows that to find the best answers in today’s complex world, he must bring everyone’s best thinking to bear on the issue at hand, not just his own. A real expert has the temperament and the tools to do so.

A real expert recognizes that, regardless of what others may call his line of work, he is really in the transformation business. Pine and Gilmore have demonstrated in their masterful book, The Experience Economy, that the highest-value product a business can deliver is not goods or services or even experiences. It is the transformation of the client or donor.

A real expert understands that he has been hired to change people, in order to produce a better outcome. He is a catalyst for change, which starts with the way he listens.

A real expert practices what I call “transformational listening.”

Transformational listening goes beyond listening for data, information, or knowledge; it is listening for wisdom and insight. It goes beyond listening with the physical ears; it is listening with ears of discernment.

Transformational listening is not a set of techniques; it is a way of being with another person. It is not based on some clever approach or device; it is based on the deep-down way we see others and ourselves.

An outstanding example of a true expert who practiced transformational listening in his work with clients and donors was Paul Laughlin. Paul was the bank trust officer in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, who turned a conversation with Osceola McCarty, an 87-year-old uneducated but generous washer woman into a magnificent gift to the University of Southern Mississippi. (See the details in my earlier article at http://www.scottfarnsworth.com/Blog.html#April11.) (April 2011 Osceola McCarty: The Rest of the Story)

Looking beyond her age, her profession, her lack of education, the diminutive size of her banking account, and the color of her skin, Paul listened to Osceola and saw a vision for her future happiness and heard an opportunity to make a meaningful difference in the world. Only after applying his expertise as a listener did he deploy his expertise in estate planning and charitable giving.

As a result, Paul not only transformed Osceola’s life but he also dramatically changed the lives of an entire university community, of dozens of future Mississippi school teachers, and of untold numbers of philanthropists, and their advisors who have been inspired by this story. Generations yet unborn will be blessed by Paul’s transformational listening.

If you were to talk with Paul, you would discover a man of great humility, respect, and curiosity. These attributes are essential for the transformational listener.

The transformational listener is humble. He sees himself as constantly open to new understanding. He knows that, as much as he already knows, he still has much to learn about the client or donor’s world. He understands that careful, attentive, and appreciative listening both with his ears and with his heart is the only way he will learn enough about their world to become an expert in it.

The transformational listener is respectful. Regardless of the apparent disparity in age, education, wealth, achievement, rank, status, or power, he sees clients or donors as fellow human travelers, each with unique experiences and exceptional brilliance. He acknowledges their strengths and talents, and honors their life journeys. He knows every person he meets has something important to teach him.

The transformational listener is curious. He can’t wait to discover what lies within the clients’ or donors’ every phrase or paragraph or silent pause. He is fascinated by where their minds will go next, by what stories or insights will spring forth from their thinking if he listens generously and without interruption.

As Paul Laughlin showed, being a real expert is first about listening and only then about speaking. It is more about what we are presently learning than what we previously knew. It is more about harnessing shared brilliance than showing off as a solitary shooting star. It is more about a way of seeing others and being with people than the mastery of a set of techniques.

In the end, it is all about touching hearts and changing lives

•  

Big Papa’s Legacy

This year’s “Pig Pickin’” barbeque and family gathering on Memorial Day weekend in Brookhaven, Mississippi, was grander than most. The Moretons, my wife’s maternal family, used the occasion to honor “The Threes” — their affectionate name for the third generation down from Big Papa.

Big Papa is the larger-than-life lumberman, banker, philanthropist, and family patriarch who established the Moreton family legacy in the first half of the 20th century. Though he’s been gone for over 50 years, in reality he lives on. He personifies the truth of an old Native American saying: “As long as somebody is still telling your story, you’re really still alive.”                
Besides the family connection, I have a professional interest in legacy success stories like the Moretons’. Our high-net-worth planning team works with parents and grandparents who love their children and grandchildren and who wish to pass on a lasting legacy of values and virtues to them and to generations yet unborn.                

One of the tools we use in this process is the Legacy Circle. We have seen that successful legacy families implement the principles imbedded in the Legacy Circle. Big Papa and his descendants did just that many decades before the Legacy Circle was ever created.                

The Legacy Circle

At its heart, the Legacy Circle teaches that a successful legacy family has a shared set of family stories and a shared vision. Who and what a family is will be determined more by the stories it tells about itself and the way it sees its collective future than by any other factor. The thrust of its stories and vision determine the direction of a family’s destiny.                

 

The Legacy Circle teaches that a successful legacy family focuses on the people they love and the causes they support. These must be wisely balanced, with equal parts inward attention and outward concern. There must be a commitment to care for themselves along with a mission to look to the needs of others. A successful legacy family recognizes that too much attention to its own gratification results in generations of self-absorbed navel-gazers, while concern only for outsiders leaves family members’ own needs unaddressed. Balance is essential.

 

The Legacy Circle teaches that the parents and grandparents of successful families leave a well-rounded legacy consisting of four major components woven skillfully and seamlessly together. These four components include a compilation of life lessons, including the values, principles, and wisdom that make us who we are; directions, wishes, and instructions for loved ones concerning the end of life and beyond; personal treasures such as photographs and keepsakes that help to tell the stories of family members; and financial wealth.                

 

If any of these four components is left standing apart from the other three and unconnected to the core values found in the center of the Legacy Circle, it has a limited impact in blessing the lives of future generations.                

 

Of particular note is the Financial Wealth quadrant. If inherited money is not integrated into a well-rounded legacy, it seldom creates lasting value for the inheritors, notwithstanding the most benevolent of intentions. It is either dissipated in short order or it robs the recipient of incentive and self-sufficiency, leaving arrested development and disrupted lives in its wake.                

 

At the annual Pig Pickin’ and through the years, I’ve heard tales of how Big Papa’s courage and audacity saved Brookhaven Bank during the Depression, of how family members “took in” children of deceased siblings, of how the thirteen cousins later known as “The Threes” grew up in a cluster of neighboring houses with open door policies, where aunts and uncles took as much interest in their well-being as their own parents.                

 

I’ve witnessed vigorous but respectful discussions about where the family enterprise is headed or should be heading. I’ve seen that enterprise adjusted over the years as the family situation changed and outside conditions shifted. These stories and vision discussions were part of teaching the upcoming “Fours,” “Fives” and ”Sixes” what it means “to be a Moreton” and setting the stage for the future success of the extended family.                

 

I find it of particular interest that members of the family actually refer to themselves in legacy terms, i.e., as “The Threes,” “The Fours,” and so forth. It cements in their minds and hearts the notion that they are part of something bigger than themselves, something that had its roots before they came along, and something that must still be here after they have passed on.                

 

The regular gatherings of Big Papa’s clan are a robust mix of family business and family pleasure, along with a healthy dollop of honoring Big Papa and Big Mama’s community service and philanthropic wishes. Giving back and taking in are well balanced. Responsibilities are accepted and carried out. Expressions of love and appreciation flow freely. As a result, family members are uplifted and encouraged.                

 

Big Papa had the foresight to establish for his descendants an ongoing family enterprise that would bring them back together often. This in turn has served to foster the preservation of life lessons, final instructions, and personal treasures. He also endowed this enterprise with sufficient financial resources to bring life and energy to the other facets of the family legacy.                

 

As an observer and facilitator of successful legacy families, it was delightful to study one at very close range and recognize the far-sightedness of its founder long ago. It was affirming and reassuring to see that the principles I teach today to aspiring legacy families were implemented many, many decades ago by a wise and visionary patriarch and matriarch and then perpetuated through the years by their equally insightful children and grandchildren.                

 

Big Papa, what a legacy you left for your posterity!                

 

That, and a deep love for family, feasts, and fun.

The Power of Process

 

To succeed in business today, you must have a clear and understandable process and a clear and simple story to describe it.

When you have a clear and simple process and a clear and simple story to describe it, prospective customers understand that you are experienced, that you understand people like them, and that you know how to solve their problems. They see that you are thoughtful and systematic. They recognize that you will find appropriate solutions to their unique set of problems. They perceive added value in your approach because they have a clear understanding of how you work.

Your process story outlines the next stage of your relationship. It establishes and clarifies expectations. It’s a roadmap for the journey ahead, and thus it gives customers comfort and reassurance. They know where they are and where they are headed. They know they are in the hands of an experienced and confident guide.

In a service business.

If you are primarily in a service business, the process you describe will be the steps you follow when you work with customers like those with whom you are speaking. Each step in your process, which represents a significant meeting or customer event, should have its own distinctive name. The process as a whole should be simple and easy to follow.

In a products business.

If your business is primarily selling products, it is even more imperative that you have a process and that you describe it in a clear and simple story. As the seller of products, you face a serious risk of becoming a commodity. A commodity is a product that is generic and is bought and sold strictly on price, like a bushel of wheat or a gallon of gasoline. Without a simple and understandable customer-service process, you will be perceived as a commodity and thus you face serious pricing pressure as the only means to differentiate your products from others like them.

How, you may ask, can the seller of products talk about a process? The simplest way is to identify the steps you use to determine which products are appropriate for particular customers, and then add to that the steps you use to deliver your products to your customers and ensure that they are satisfied. If you have a successful business that sells products, you are probably already doing those things. What you must now do is identify the steps you use and describe the entire sequence in the form of a clear and simple story. Just as sellers of services, each step of your process should have its own unique name and the process as a whole should be simple and easy to understand.

 

Telling your process story.          

In telling your process story, as you name and describe each step, you should describe what happens in that step and what its purposes are. Your description should allow prospective customers to visualize that step as it will happen, thus making each step real and relevant to their experience. If important actions take place before or after any of the meetings, or if customers will have assignments to complete to get ready for any of the steps, you should describe those activities as part of your story.

How your process fixes their problems.          

I have learned that as you describe your process to prospective customers, it is important that you point out how your process will answer their specific problems and concerns. Even the world's most brilliant process is useless if it doesn't fix the problems at hand. As you tell your process story, it must be clear where in the process you will address their worries. It is also helpful to mention there are many other worries you have not yet discussed that will be solved in the course of following your process.

It has been my experience that describing your unique and thoughtful process in a narrative fashion will do more to enhance the value of your products or services than just about anything you can do. Having a clearly defined methodology for solving your customer's problems gives you and them confidence that working together will be mutually beneficial.

One of the reasons this is true is because, as you describe your unique process, you are able to elaborate on the specifics of how you solve your customers’ problems, and you get to point out how the way you address their problems is different from your competition’s approach. 

Closing the circle.  

In a sense, the story of your process closes the circle on the claims you made earlier in the sales meeting. Before, you said, in essence, “You're here because you have problems. I understand those problems. I even recognize dangers you may not be aware of. Both of us recognize that serious consequences will occur if your problems are not properly addressed. Both of us recognize that there are incredible benefits to be enjoyed if your problems can be resolved. In the past I have helped other people similar to you solve problems similar to yours. Now, here's how we do it; here's how together we will solve your problems.” Now the circle is complete.

What it says about you: experienced.  

A clear and powerful process story speaks volumes about you and your company. It says you have been down this road many times before — so many times, in fact, you have created your own map for how to traverse this territory. You know all the twists and turns in the road, and you also know where the potholes are and how to avoid them.

Thoughtful and empathetic.       

A clear and powerful process story says you have thought deeply about the kind of customer experience you want to create for them. You have put yourself in their shoes, and you understand what will be most helpful to them in addressing and solving their problems. You have seen the journey through their eyes.

Orderly.      

A clear and powerful process story says you are systematic and orderly. Because of your method, none of the pieces will fall through the cracks. Every piece will be handled smartly and expeditiously. 

Careful.          

A clear and powerful process story says you don't shoot from the hip, but you work carefully through a problem to find the best solutions. It says you don't glibly hand out quick answers, but you have an organized way to find the right answers. Today’s astute consumers understand that because the world is changing so rapidly, today’s clever answers will be wrong tomorrow. Instead of clever answers, you offer your customers a caring relationship and a thoughtful process for finding the right answers regardless of changes in the environment.

Customized.          

A clear and powerful process story says it will be easy for you to create a customized solution for these prospective customers. Because much of the process is already thought through and laid out in advance, you will have plenty of time and attention to focus on the uniqueness of their situation.

Collaborative.   

A clear and powerful process story says you will involve them in the process of finding the right answers for their problems. It says you believe in collaboration and teamwork. It says you believe their thinking is as vital to the process as your thinking. It says you value them, and the role they will play in solving their problems with you.

In today’s competitive business environment, there is nothing more essential to your success than having a clear and simple customer process and a clear and simple story of your process. It turns prospects into customers, and customers into happy, satisfied customers who tell others what a great job your company did for them. What could be more valuable?

Osceola McCarty: The Rest of the Story

 

Osceola McCarty, a black washerwoman from Hattiesburg, Mississippi, single-handedly changed the definition of philanthropy at the University of Southern Mississippi. Here’s the inside story of her amazing donation.

[Personal note: I was a professor of business law at the University of Southern Mississippi in the mid-1980’s and later was associated with the U.S.M. Foundation’s Estate Planning Advisory Board. I was vice-president and trust officer at Trustmark National Bank in the late 1980’s, where I was acquainted with some of the participants in these events.]

In 1995, at the age of 87, Osceola McCarty had a problem. This simple, hardworking lady had saved and penny-pinched her way to an estate worth over $200,000 and she wasn’t sure what to do with it. The tellers at Trustmark National Bank sent her to see Paul Laughlin, the bank’s assistant vice-president and trust officer.

Listening to her story, Paul learned that Osceola had washed and ironed other people’s clothes all her life until she “retired” at age 86 due to arthritis in her hands. She had never married and never had any children. Most of “her people” had passed away earlier, so she needed some advice on what to do with her life savings.

Paul, recognizing her lack of formal education, used a masterful approach to uncover her deeply-held passions. He took out 10 dimes and spread them on the coffee table in front of her. “Miss Osceola,” he said, “show me with the dimes what you want to do with your money.”

“Well,” she began, picking up the first dime, “I’ve always believed in tithing, so this one’s got to go to the church.”

“And I’ve got two nieces and a nephew I want to help,” she continued, picking up three more dimes. “These are for them.” Then she hesitated.“

And what about the rest?” Paul queried.   

She studied Paul as if to see if she could trust him, smiled nervously, took a deep breath, and said, “You know, I always wanted to be a teacher. But my auntie got sick when I was in the sixth grade, and she didn’t have anybody to take care of her. I stopped going to school to tend her, and I was never able to go back. After she died, I was too far behind, so I just kept working, washing and ironing and saving my money. So I never got to be a teacher.”

Her eyes filled with tears. She paused and looked away, then composed herself and went on.   

“But I understand the college in town helps black kids become teachers. I want to help them.”

“You mean the University of Southern Mississippi?” Paul asked.

“Yes, that’s the one,” she replied.

“What do you know about the University of Southern Mississippi, Miss Osceola?”

“Actually, I’ve never even seen the place. It’s too far to walk and I never owned a car. But I understand they help black kids become teachers. I’m too old to do it myself, but I’d like to help some of them become teachers.”

Paul wisely recognized that she would have needs during the rest of her lifetime, so he helped her set up a charitable remainder trust. The fund provided income to her during her lifetime, then went to the University of Southern Mississippi to pay for scholarships for black students in education.

Paul also realized that sometimes, the story about a gift can be more valuable than the gift itself. He got her permission to tell the University about her donation.

News of that gift hit the University of Southern Mississippi and the town of Hattiesburg like a Category 5 hurricane. The whole community was electrified! A lot of people with a lot more money than Osceola McCarty looked at themselves and asked, “Wow, if a black washerwoman can do something like that, what’s wrong with me?”

Long before she died and her $150,000 gift passed to the University, there were millions of dollars in the Osceola McCarty Scholarship Fund, helping to fund scholarships for needy black students in education. Her gift changed hundreds of lives.

It changed her life too. This humble little lady finally saw with her own eyes the University of Southern Mississippi, where they awarded her the first honorary degree in the history of the school. She saw the whole country. She saw the White House—from the inside, where President Clinton awarded her the Presidential Citizen’s Medal and scores of other humanitarian honors. Harvard University awarded her an honorary doctorate and she won the United Nations’ coveted Avicenna Medal for educational commitment.

Through it all, she retained her grace and humility. "I can't do everything," she said, "but I can do something to help somebody. And what I can do I will do. I wish I could do more."

* * *

From this amazing story, we can recognize at least four powerful principles relevant to the world of charitable giving.

1) Every meaningful donation begins with a conversation.

2) If we listen attentively to the donor's story, we can discover their passions, why they want to give.

3) Once we understand the “why” of giving, it’s easy to figure out the “how.” 

4) Sometimes the story about a gift is more valuable than the gift itself.

Our goal at SunBridge is to increase generational understanding and philanthropic giving by providing advisors and nonprofit organizations appropriate and enduring tools to keep their clients and donors close. We designed The Priceless Conversation process to provide  a toolkit that, when thoughtfully presented and used, can help deepen the relationship between clients and their families, and between donors and the organizations they support and the causes they care about.